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Matthew Hoy currently works as a metro page designer at the San Diego Union-Tribune.

The opinions presented here do not represent those of the Union-Tribune and are solely those of the author.

If you have any opinions or comments, please e-mail the author at: hoystory -at- cox -dot- net.

Dec. 7, 2001
Christian Coalition Challenged
Hoystory interviews al Qaeda
Fisking Fritz
Politicizing Prescription Drugs

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Sunday, February 10, 2002
Spotted this on a board posting. It's good for a laugh.


It is worthwhile to note recent advances in military technology on the part of France.

All French tanks now are equipped with a transmission that has only one speed forward (low-low,slow-slow) and fifteen speeds in reverse. You may laugh at the American Phalanx anti-missile system until you see the new French Frigates, which are equipped with 22 different means to signal surrender. New French military radios transmit surrender on all channels simultaneously.

The New French Aircraft Carrier, the "DeGaulle", had it's propeller fall off. The radiation levels are above standards for human habitation, but French have nothing to worry about because the mass of the testicular area is so much smaller. The Carrier cannot make the speed of it's oil-fired predecessor, and cannot make wind over deck sufficient to launch aircraft at gross weight. The French have rectified that problem by assigning French UN Diplomats who continually expel hot air while an air event is taking place.

There was much discussion about the yellow stripe down the back of the uniforms of the French Army, but you have to admit, it reduces the possibility of injury from friendly fire. "We believe in visibility," said the French Minister of Defense.

Yes, France stands shoulder-to-shoulder with the United States in combating the forces of evil. Americans remember proudly how the French refused to allow F-111 bombers to overfly France when we (the United States) creamed Libyan dictator Moamar Khadafi, and accidentally (how careless) put a missile into the French compound. And when we talk of military might remember the nation of Cameroon, that was placed under French authority by the United Nations, and the massacres of women and children by French machine guns in the 1950's. Yes the French stand ready, and their military might is not to be underestimated.

10:46 PM

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